This Little Light

" When the moon is not full, the stars shine more brightly." - Uganda

Much has been written about leadership. Many support a take charge approach where the main focus is creating opinionless followers who are so committed that they overwork for limited pay. But for many of these followers, the focus is to be recognized and appreciated for their contributions, so that they can realize their self-interests. Leaders are the "moons" that can choose to either flood the organization with their brilliance, or lower the wattage, so that other lights can be recognized. No moon is full all the time, unless it stands still, and refuses to grow or change. No moon divorces itself from different perspectives, or fails to show its craters. The stars are little moons, and appreciate the model that moons can offer, but know that their own brilliance can help to light the sky. What more can we learn from the moon and stars? In what ways do we shine each day? This little light of mine...I'm gonna' let it shine!

The Glass is Full

" A fool is thirsty in the midst of water." - Ethiopia

I still remember reading the mournful cry of the ancient mariner, who floated aimlessly on the sea, dying of thirst, "Water, water everywhere, nor any drop to drink." Sometimes the relief we seek is right under our noses, but we miss the opportunity to enjoy the resolution, because we are enjoying the struggle or lack or not-enoughness. Sometimes the form of the relief does not match our desires or our expectations, so we regard our life experiences as a glass half empty, or sometimes in our darkest moments, completely empty. Sometimes we see the glass as half full, and then we congratulate ourselves for being hopeful and persistent. What if all that we need is already in our view, and access to it is limited only by our thoughts? Would we then discover that the glass is always, always, always full?

Appreciate Your Dance

" He who cannot dance will say " The drum is bad." - Ashanti

One of the four determinants of emotional intelligence is self-knowledge, but some of us lack the practice in developing it. I have often said that when I become excessively angry about something I'm usually wrong! In some way, I have overlooked my own errors or made excuses for them. Self-knowledge is freeing, because we can give up the idea of perfection, and choose something better. What could be better than perfection? The answer is innovation or surprise. A relationship becomes vibrant and energized by something new and different, while still acknowledging the partner's ritual behaviors. Self-knowledge helps us to develop our own dance, and then to love self because of all those graceful moves we can make! What do you appreciate about your own dance?

Look Before You Leap

" No one tests the depth of the river with both feet." - Ashanti

When we understand that all relationships are temporary (they have a beginning and an end), we can then appreciate tentativeness, paying attention to the boundaries of the relationship. Depth is a boundary that we sometimes explore more quickly than necessary, when in reality the breadth and flow of the relationship forecast the likelihood of happiness. Some of us place a toe into the relationship and run away if the water (relationship) is cold or even too warm. Some of us wade into the water, and get embarrassed when we're "hung out to dry."Some of us leap full steam into the water and nearly drown. When we test the waters slowly and deliberately, we can appreciate the nuances of connection that develop over time.

Community

" Rain does not fall on one roof alone." - Cameroon

A parking lot attendant gleefully retorted, "I am blessed and highly favored, " when I asked how she was doing. I recognize that response as one coming from someone who feels special in the eyes of God. But... she is not the only person who has this belief. The word "favored" is inherently competitive, implying that one person has something that another does not possess. Often that is true, since we have our own gifts. But, are some gifts better than others?

We are all part of a human community. The existence of joy and peace is unquestioned, and all within our community of humans have access to the happiness that joy brings. But.. even with ready access, we do not fully allow ourselves to bask in the feel of "the rain." When we choose to feel our own rain, and remain oblivious to the rain of others, we then try to "reign" over (obvious play on words) others, and then miss the opportunity to experience community - the lifeblood of human experience.

Hear No Evil

" A healthy ear can stand hearing sick words." - Senegal

There is more than enough bad news in the world right now, so watching TV should come with a warning - "viewer discretion advised." Yet, there is more good news that goes unreported than all the bad news we hear. But good news unfortunately does not sell products or gain our conditioned attention, unless the products that pay for the news programming promise that we will be changed by buying them.

When we turn our attention to the joy in the world, we start hearing about more of it. We develop a "healthy ear." Then, the "sick words" don't have the same affect on us, because we know that there is more to hear. We can put what we hear in perspective, and resist taking it into our soul.

What's the Hurry?

" A little rain each day will fill the rivers to overflowing." -Liberia

Before the recent economic downturn, many people seemed to be in a hurry. It seems that now people are moving more slowly. When we have a joyful relationship with another, everything seems to be upbeat and energetic; when trouble starts, our heart slows. What if we approached our lives and relationships with joy, because we would be confident in knowing that each day could be as fulfilling as the next? Perhaps we could savor the day, and stop rushing frenetically into the future. We would realize that everything just keeps getting better!

Projection

" One camel does not make fun of another camel's hump." - Guinea

Self-monitoring is the fastest way I know of managing projection, that nasty little defensive behavior that causes us to "project" onto others things we don't like or would rather not see about ourselves. Others become a convenient screen for our self-loathing.

Our behaviors change when we realize that we are projecting. After all, we are not that different as human beings. An ancient poet, Terence, is reported to have written, " I am a human being, nothing human is alien from me." We are all capable of negative behaviors or loving behaviors. We carry at least those two hungry aspects of ourselves - judging or loving. Which one are we feeding?

Timeless Change

"Everything has an end" - Tanzania "

Do a thing at its time, and peace follows it"- Mandinka

Time is an illusive concept. Do you ever wonder what life would be like if we did not have the concept of time? From our time-bound perspective, everthing has an end, even the moment "now" ends even as we recognize it. Does time control us? What is the right time for change? When should we slow the pace or abandon time constraints?